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  • Darren Lindeman

Types of improvised prison recipes that I've made.

Prison food are recipes made and cooked from ingredients that are limited from a prison's commissary store. Basically the prison commissary stores includes most major items that can be found in any convenience store. Popular commissary items include biscuits, chocolate, candy bars, chips, drinks, ramen and what not.


Spreads.





The most infamous meal made by inmates in prison. Typically spread is a ramen base that can be augmented to a specific flavor by using chips, canned meat, or other foods that are also available in the prison store. Spread can vary by culture, as a Hispanic person may use different ingredients when compared to an Asian's spread.


Typical ingrediates for a spread includes...


Hot pickles.

Canned chilli beans.

Cheese sauce.

Doritos.

Top Ramen.


To make a prison spread, first boil a pitch of water and cook the ramen noodle for a decent amount of time. Depending on your preference you may prefer the ramen noodles to be either be more or less cooked. Once the ramen is cooked, extract the water and place the ramen noodle in plastic bag.

The next step is to create the sauce of the spread. The sauce is normally made up of anything that is of liquid form, such as cheese sauce and canned chilli beans. Normally the sauce should include something which is strong in flavour and spicy, which means that canned chili beans are normally the prefered ingrediate. Other sauces could include hot sauce and tobasco. Mix all the liquid sauces in a bag and mix it up.


The next step is add meats such as luncheon meat, beef jerky and corned beef into a bag and mash it up. After that put all your chips, such as doritos, cheese rings into the meat bag and do the same.


After all that is done, mix all food from each other bag into the sauce bag, then mash it up.


Taste.


The prison spread is a suprisingly good, especially when there are loads of different sauces. It does not fit the not fit for consumption label the prison buritto has.





Prison Burrito.




A jailhouse burrito consists of canteen items such as Chili Ramen noodles,flaming hot Cheetos, JalapeñoCrunchers, Ranch Doritos, and sometimes other chips, along with mayo or sour cream to alter the flavor, all wrapped in a tortilla. Considered a truly cultural dish in your local jail.


Typical ingrediates include.


One large bag of Dorritos. Smaller bags can be used as well.

Canned foods of all types.

Cheetos, preferably spicy.

Sour Cream or Mayo.

Ramen noodles.

Cheese sauce.


To make a prison burrito, first crush a pack of buritos and ramen into very small bits. Once this is done place the ramen into the bag with the burritos. After that, get a cup of boiled water and cook the burrito and ramen. This step is very important because if you put too much water into the bag, it would cause the burrito to over liquify.


Once you poured enough water to the mix, you should expect a composition in the bag that half dry half wet, it is much more preferable to have it more dry then wet, otherwise it would taste disgusting. The next step is to add the cheetos, cream and mayo into the bag. Once you've done this, mould the bag into a bread loaf shape and leave it for around 15 minutes. Once done cut the bag up and remove the Burrito.


Taste.


The prison burrito is by far the worse tasting recipe on this list. Essentially you are eating watered burritos, which if you are wondering how it taste like, it is like literally eating card board. However given that there are very strong sauces, this can remove the effects of the poor tasting texture. Cheese sauce is highly recommended. Also recommended is to use very high flavored Dorritos.




Jail Cake.





A jail house cake consists of canteen items such as Chips ahoy, Oreos, milk, honey buns and cheese cakes, and sometimes cereals and chocolates. It is often made in celebrations for an inmate's birthday or as a desert.



Typical ingrediates include.


Oreos

Chips ahoy.

Peanut butter.

Fruit loops or other flavoured cereals.

Preferably milk, water is also acceptable.

Any type sweet baked goods or buns.


To make a prison cake, first mash up Oreos biscuits, Chips ahoy, chocolates and cereals then place them into a bag. Mix the bag up and then add a small cup of milk until the mash becomes like a hard, dough like texture. It is important to use less milk, as this would easily ruin the cake if there is too much liquid.


After the dough is formed, spread the dough out then place your bun in the centre of the spread dough. Once this is done wrap the dough around the bun and mould it into a loaf shape. Finally, place the now moulded dough into a microwave and cook until it is reasonable heated.


Taste.


The taste is of the cake is suprisingly good and in my opinon, better then any packaged buns you can get from a shop. The dough formed from the Oreos and Chips ahoy tasted suprisingly good.







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